HuffPost had a great article about Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine’s peeved response to smarmy Ree-Pub Veep candidate Paul Ryan gushing that RATM was “his favorite band”. I mean, sheeeeet: can a dude be more clueless??
Paul, here’s the deal. Rock-n-roll just ain’t for you. And neither is hip hop or pretty much any black music. As far as popular culture goes, this does leave you Country & Western–specifically the “Western” part of the equation, so as not to confuse the likes of Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Willy Nelson, Buck Owens, etc with your ilk. But hey, it does mean that you get to blast all the Toby Keith you want; you know Toby–he does that, umm, really wicked cool “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue (Angry Amurrican)” song that is making me cringe even as I type these words.
Why is it that Ree-pubs insist on chasing after rock-n-roll when rock-n-roll clearly wants no part of them? In the past, there was always Lawrence Welk and Pat Boone to take up musical campaign duties, and like I previously mentioned, they now have the entire genre of mainstream modern-day C&W (not the good old stuff!! not the good old stuff!!). But you still have these upright, rigid tighty whitey Ree-pubs trying to Get Down and Dirrty with that rock-n-roll business that the kids like. Give me a Ree-pub campaign and I’ll show you an awkward clip of the tighty whitey candidate trying desperately to look “cool” and “with it” as he “dances” and air-guitars to whatever music clip his advisors/PR hacks have deemed “hip and now” enough to blare at a rally. Then, as RATM’s Morello so eloquently did, cue the really pissed off musician cease-and-desisting the motherfucker out of the dumbass Ree-pub.
Guys. Ree-pubs. Do I really have to explain rock’s legacy of rebellion, Dionysian fury and all-around iconoclastic coolness that simply is not available to you all now that you’ve gone to the Dark Side? Every once and awhile, you’ll score one for the home team when a really cool rocker like Johnny Ramone turns out to be scorchingly conservative. And you can have Ted Nugent; he’s all yours. But one of the benefits of not being a conservative hate-bound Ree-pub arsehole is that all of the cool rock, blues, soul, r&b, reggae and hip hop artists are on “our” side.
So guys; Ree-pubs; here’s “your boy” Toby Keith:
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you’ll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
‘Cause we’ll put a boot in your ass
It’s the American way
Git down wid yo bad selves!